This morning in my prayer time, I asked the Lord to please roll back the corner of heaven so that I could see how the present crisis in my life turns out. I know I am supposed to walk by faith and not by sight, but I am tired of doing that. It feels like I am in a fog, and the Ho-Ho-Ho’s of the holidays do not cheer me up. I know that I am not alone.
In my small circle of friends and family, we have some who are spending their first Christmas without their spouses, without their children, with not enough financial surplus to do the holidays the way they feel they would like to, or the way they feel the pressure to spend, wrap, and provide the Awwwwww moment for their circles of loved ones.
I am just tired. The current crisis is taking all my mental energy, and is draining my reservoir of joy. Why?? Because I cannot be all things to all men. I am limited, and I am empathetic. I hate seeing those I love and care about being in hard places. Standing the gap is tiring.
This weekend, my husband and I did a PGR event. The Patriot Guard Riders honor soldiers who are going out and coming in. We did two flag lines and a rolling tribute. Because Hubby had to change the flags on the truck from ‘Army’ to ‘Marine,’ at times I was in the line holding two flags, his and mine. If you can, imagine that I am standing in the line, much like Samson of old, with my arms outstretched. Biblical Samson pulled down the amphitheater with his strength. He asked God for one more time, one more exploit. He pushed with all his might, and the building collapsed, killing more of his enemies in that moment than had been killed in all previous battles. How I wished that I had that power, as I stood in the flag line, arms outstretched, to just pull down the strongholds that have my friends and family all tied up. As I mentioned before, the ‘dumb ass moments’ have a way of coming back to haunt us.
Today, I was reading Psalms 4 and 5. King David had his ‘dumb ass moment’ with Bathsheba. As a consequence, the prophet told him that he would have trouble in his family the rest of his days. (2 Sam 12:10) These two psalms were written in the aftermath of David’s son Absalom trying to kill him, and usurp his kingdom. David pours out his heart in these psalms, all the while knowing that God was his deliverer. “the LORD will hear when I call unto him.” (emphasis mine); “But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.”
Maybe like me, you are facing a situation where you need God to defend you. Maybe you are in a tight situation where there is no way out, or if there is a way out, you don’t see it, or don’t have the resources to procure it. I don’t think that God is going to roll back the curtain in heaven, and let me see the end results for either my situation or yours. However, we do have His Word, which reveals His will. I make a choice today to believe that the prayers of David that brought his deliverance, and will bring yours and mine. In hope, I decide to continue to stand in the gap, knowing that there is a deliverer. I am listening, and expect to hear you shout for joy, because God has shown up big in your situation.
Until next time,
Well said! Oh, and of course, well written!
With your permission i would like to read a “model” journal entry to my men! This one.
Thank you. Of course! I am honored.
Absolutely awesome commentary on everyday living and expectations. I agree with CL – well said, well written!
Thank you. Every day living can be very hard…..